


i can't keep my eyes off of you

by Woahsos



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Background cake, First Kiss, Fluff, I have no idea, M/M, Mutual Pining, but he really loves ashton, cabin getaway, for tl, michael loves his friend so much, only fluff no angst, pure fucking love baby, vacation fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29324535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woahsos/pseuds/Woahsos
Summary: Ashton turns to Michael to smile, and Michael knows that whatever he’s about to say next is going to stop his heart in the middle of his chest. “I’d rather be down here with you.”The rest of the park is drowned out by the rushing in Michael’s ears. He can feel it flooding his cheeks and his heart is hammering at his chest. Only distantly can he hear the voices and laughter of children and the splashing water because I’d rather be down here with you is ringing through his mind like a church bell.orthe cabin vacation fic filled with so much pining and love
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Calum Hood, Michael Clifford/Ashton Irwin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	i can't keep my eyes off of you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thenervousduck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenervousduck/gifts).



> this is for tl for so many reasons. i said i would do stream of concioussness with mashton for them but then i got inspired by jalex and forgot, so this is me making that up.  
> but! this is also just because i love you tl. this is my love letter to you. you make every friendship feel so special and magical, and you are so full of infectious love and i admire you so much. you deserve eternal happiness and i really hope you enjoy this <3

As much as Michael hates leaving his house, he can’t deny that the lodge Calum’s picked out for their yearly vacation leaves a warm feeling in his chest. It’s rustic and earthy, the cabins they’re staying in resembling actual log cabins that look straight out of a picture book. From the outside, at least. 

The interior is warmly modern, all dark wooden furniture and a brown leather couch that sits in front of a fireplace. There’s only one bedroom, consisting of two bunk beds, which makes Michael feel like a proper child again and he’s considering proposing marriage to Calum just for finding this place. 

Speaking of Calum.

Him and Luke have already claimed one of the bunks, throwing their stuff onto the bottom mattress and arguing over who gets which bunk. 

Michael turns to Ashton, who’s already looking back at him with an amused smile. “I’m not picky.”

“Good. I want the top bunk, that way if it collapses in the middle of the night I’m not the one getting crushed,” Michael teases, slinging his bag over onto the top bunk. Ashton laughs, because Michael’s clearly joking, except he’s not and it’s a genuine fear he has, but he’s not going to admit that to Ashton. 

When Calum and Luke have finally settled their bunk argument, which will no doubt resurface later tonight before they go to bed, all four of them head out to explore the lodge grounds. On their little street are about a dozen more cabins that look identical to the one they’re staying in; Michael is trusting Calum to lead them back to the right one every night, since he wouldn’t be able to find it on his own for shit. There’s a bright green and red trolley that brings guests around the grounds periodically, filled with parents and children and teenagers who look like they’re having the time of their life. They’ve assigned Ashton to look into the schedule when they get back to their cabin.

Finally, at the end of the street, is the hotel that guests can opt to stay in instead of the cabins; it’s cheaper, but the various activities and benefits from the hotel are open to all guests no matter where they stay. 

Upon entering, they’re greeted with an enormous stone fireplace that takes up the majority of the lobby. On a ledge above the fireplace are life-sized animatronics of a hunter and a bear, heads and other limbs moving side to side occasionally. Michael feels fucking giddy looking at it, and Luke seems to agree if the way he breathes, “Holy shit,” is anything to go by.

Perhaps they’re too easily impressed. 

They continue to stare while Ashton and Calum head to the front desk to let the staff know that they’ve checked into their cabin, completely enraptured by the way the animatronics move like a couple of children. 

It’s only when Ashton comes back over that Michael’s able to tear his eyes away from the slightly intimidating, too-realistic robots. He’s been having too much trouble looking at anything other than Ashton whenever they’re near each other for a few months now, and he’s starting to wonder if it’s a problem. 

“You might be interested to know,” Ashton starts, barely drawing Luke’s attention but capturing all of Michael’s. “There’s an interactive story going on in here tonight. Cal’s booking our spots right now.”

“Cool,” Luke mumbles.

“What does that mean?” Michael asks, if only to hear Ashton speak more. But also because he wants to know what ‘interactive story’ means. One of those reasons might outweigh the other. 

Ashton gestures up to the animatronics; the hunter is tapping his shotgun against the floor while the bear swivels its strangely large snout. “They’re going to tell us the history of the resort. They do it like every night, but the staff recommend you see it on the first night so you can experience everything the place offers to the fullest, with all its  _ rich history _ .” He pitches his voice up on the last statement like he’s presenting the information, trying to sell them on it. Michael brings a hand up to cover his mouth while he giggles, and Ashton gives him a sweet smile that says his only goal is to make Michael laugh.

Which is absurd.

Right?

“Guys!” Calum bounds over to them, holding a pamphlet of what must be activities and restaurants and everything else hotels try to sell to you. “Come on, they have a free ice cream buffet thing.”

“It’s not free, dumbass,” Luke mutters, but starts following Calum anyways. “It was probably included in the fees. Nothing is free.”

“No such thing as a free lunch,” Ashton adds cheerily. Michael finds him horribly endearing and almost trips over his own feet because he can’t stop looking at his stupid dimples. 

Calum and Luke argue the whole walk to the ice cream bar in the little dining area, first about the concept of things being free and then about which ice cream flavors are superior. They get strange and bemused looks from other guests milling around, who Ashton smiles politely and slightly apologetically at. Michael imagines much of their trip will be spent the same way. 

A hush falls over them as they approach the ice cream bar. There are tubs upon tubs of so many flavors, some old favorites and some that Michael’s never even heard of. He wants it all.

“Where do we even start?” Luke asks, eyes wide, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of happiness sitting in front of him.

They contemplate.

“Everyone gets a different flavor and we all share.” Ashton concludes. 

Sharing ice cream out of his friend’s bowls reminds Michael of being younger, somewhere between a kid and teenager when you’re just getting a taste of new freedoms. The cracked vinyl seats around the small square tables bring him back to hot days after school spent in their hometown ice cream parlors, cooling off together before heading to someone’s house. They’d stay together until it got dark, doing almost everything except their homework. He can practically smell the sweetness of the shop and see the teenage girls who were working every time they went, the ones who would kindly laugh along with their adolescent awkwardness. 

The idle chatter of the families around them settle into Michael’s chest. He’s so aware of this moment, being the center of his own life and nothing but a background character to everyone else, his conversations with his friends blending into the scene around them. 

“You have such shit taste in ice cream,” Calum says.

“Fuck you,” Luke responds, hunched over his bowl, bent so close to the table that Micahel’s a little worried about his spine. It should not form a perfect C. He’s gonna book Luke an appointment with a chiropractor when they get back home. 

“Who the fuck likes Superman ice cream?” Calum says. 

Luke scowls at him, probably ready to start fighting him across the table before Ashton butts in, “I do.”

And, bless him, he’s pouting a little and he genuinely looks so confused at why Calum’s slandering a specific flavor of ice cream. Michael knows it’s because Calum never matured past the elementary belief that teasing someone means you like them. Fortunately for Michael, he’s matured far past that which is why he’s not teasing Ashton about the fact that he likes Superman ice cream or the pout on his stupidly pink lips. 

“Of course you do,” Calum rolls his eyes. Ashton’s brows furrow and his pout deepens. 

“Cal,” Michael says. “I don’t think you can talk considering you got bubblegum ice cream.” 

“Yeah!” Luke says as Ashton shoots Michael a smile. His insides do a fucking backflip and he almost chokes on his own mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Calum throws his hands up, splattering ice cream across the table and a little on Ashton’s arms, which he wipes off without comment. If it had landed on Luke or Michael, they would’ve intentionally thrown a spoonful at Calum. “Fuck you, bubblegum is good.” 

“It has hard pieces of bubblegum in it. That’s fucking disgusting,” Luke says.

Ashton and Michael share exasperated grins as another argument starts about between their youngest friends, hypothetical parents fed up but fond of their hypothetical kids. Michael’s spent many nights consoling Calum or giving him advice about his infatuation with Luke, and he knows Ashton’s spent many nights doing the same for Luke. 

And then, of course, they gossip about it over coffee the next day like a couple of middle aged moms at their weekly knitting club. 

It’s more of an excuse to hang out under the guise of complaining about their friends and developing a plan to get them together, but Michael’s not complaining. He’ll take any moment spent with Ashton, no matter the circumstance.

Such as right now, basically in their own world since Calum and Luke are too caught up in each other. Ashton’s smiling at Michael all small and soft and comfortable; Michael’s fucking blushing but his own smile is genuine, even though he has to force himself to tone it down so he doesn’t look too insane. 

“Are you excited? For this trip?” Ashton asks. His elbow is propped up on the table, chin resting in his palm, and he looks so genuinely interested that Michael could cry. He could genuinely cry over the sheer force of Ashton’s love and care that he directs at anyone and everyone, but especially at Michael. The world is so undeserving of Ashton and all his love.

“Yeah,” Michael shrugs, hopefully masking how overwhelmed he is by trying to be casual. “I trust that Calum’s planned some fun things. If not, I’ll have fun bullying him.”

Ashton laughs, loud and bright, shining sunlight on the flowers blooming in Michael’s chest. They’re practically suffocating him, growing so big and full under Ashton’s light, but he’d do anything to make Ashton laugh over and over, even if it meant sacrificing his own breath. 

“We’ll find a way to have fun,” Ashton says, eyes gleaming. And the flowers are in full bloom. 

The interactive story doesn’t start for another few hours, so they use their time to explore the hotel and find where everything is. Ashton takes note of the laundry room and dining hall, Calum takes note of the fitness center that he’s never going to use, and Michael and Luke take note of the arcade cave. 

And then they reach the indoor water park, and all of Michael’s childhood dreams come true.

Calum whistles lowly beside him and takes a step further in, Luke following his lead. When Michael turns to face Ashton, the older boy is staring ahead, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted. It’s kind of cute. It’s extremely cute. Michael wishes he could stop finding everything Ashton does extremely cute.

“Impressed?” He asks while nudging his elbow into Ashton’s side. 

Ashton huffs a laugh, though his eyes never stray from the children splashing and playing in front of them. His response is quiet, almost inaudible over the sounds of laughing kids and talking parents and running water. “I’ve never seen anything like this. We never went to any as kids. It’s incredible.”

Michael agrees; even having been to numerous water parks as a child, there’s definitely something about this one that takes a spot near the top. Or maybe it’s a side effect of not having been to one in so long, with the nostalgia and glee clouding his judgement.

But it’s definitely a good water park. There’s various little waterfalls, a multitude of differently shaped slides, two hot tub areas, a rope bridge across one stretch of the pool that kids are lining up at to try to get across without falling over. The stretches of “land” that hold chairs for the adults are set up as islands spread throughout the water, fashioned to look like rocks and and boulders of all sizes that form steps down into the pools. It’s the epitome of childhood fun and imagination. 

“This is first on the agenda tomorrow, for sure,” Calum says. Wordlessly, they agree and make their way back to the hotel hallways.

Ashton leads them back to the lobby where people are already finding places to sit for the show. The four of them find a spot in the middle of the floor, settling in and leaning against each other for support, since there aren’t any chairs to provide it. It’s the order they usually sit in on couches and floors: Michael and Luke on either side of Ashton, with Calum on the other side of Luke. Michael thinks it’s quite funny and maybe a little sweet that they’ve made a little assigned seating chart for themselves for every type of situation. 

The lights in the lobby dim, drawing a hush from the clusters of children bugging their parents about when it was going to start. There’s a few moments of tense silence before a pre-recorded crack of thunder rings through the room that scares Michael so much he jumps and clings to Ashton’s side. He can feel Ashton’s laugh, that’s how close they are. Michael’s cheeks burn, but he doesn’t move away. He’s committed now. 

A spotlight shines on the bear and the hunter who are now  _ talking  _ and Michael’s a little freaked out but it’s also stupidly cool. For the next half hour or so, they sit and listen to the history of bear hunters who built a town in  _ this very spot _ . From heroic stories to tragedies, complete with sound effects and lighting changes, they hear it all. And Michael doesn’t even care if any of it’s true or not because it’s  _ cool  _ and it’s making him feel like a kid again. 

They’re left with a jovial warning to watch out for bears during their stay, complete with a growl from the animatronic, and then the lights in the lobby are turning back on. Michael blinks a few times while his eyes adjust, looking over at his friends. Calum’s stretching while Luke rubs at his bleary eyes. Ashton is still sitting back on his hands with the smallest of smiles adorning his already radiant face; Michael would scream if he weren’t so tired. 

“Come on, let’s get you all into bed,” Ashton says, ever the caretaker, though he looks at Michael as he says it and he holds on to Michael’s arm as he gets up. Out of the corner of his eye, Michael can see Calum and Luke nudging each other and wiggling their eyebrows, but he won’t give them the satisfaction of looking at them. 

The walk back to their cabin is serene, footsteps light in the darkness, hands interlocked between all four of them. It’s too dark for Michael to be able to tell the difference in the cabins, which is why they have Ashton to lead them back. Their personal north star. 

They make their way back to their bedroom with Luke only tripping over two things in the dark, all too lazy to really change into comfier clothes. The fact that Calum and Luke don’t even argue about the bunk beds is a testament to how tired they all are. 

Michael doesn’t acknowledge that he sees Luke climb out of the top bunk once everyone’s settled in and lie down next to Calum.

And he definitely doesn’t imagine climbing down his own ladder and snuggling in with Ashton when he whispers, “Goodnight Michael.”

Despite claiming that the water park would be first on the agenda, Ashton is very adamant that they at least have breakfast first. Especially since he’s cooking.

Which. Can’t really be argued with. 

So they sit around the table while Ashton stands at the stove and cooks them eggs. He has multiple bowls and pans out so he can prepare them the way that each boy likes: scrambled for Luke, sunny-side up for Michael, and an omelette for Calum and himself. In all the years he’s been making breakfast for them, never once has he complained about how they all have to have different preferences, never even seemed bothered by it. 

Calum steps on Michael’s foot under the table. “You’re staring again, lover boy,” He whispers. Still loud enough for Luke to giggle at, though. Michael steps on his foot ten times harder. 

Breakfast is spent talking and laughing and making plans, and Michael wishes someone were here to take a photo of this sweet little family meal. All of them have unruly bedhead and soft glows about them; he feels a little in love with all his friends in this moment.

Though, there’s something about how Ashton’s smile hasn’t dimmed since they woke up, something about how alive his eyes are this early in the morning, that has Michael’s chest fluttering. And when those eyes, with their dancing hues in the soft sunlight, turn on him, he loses his breath. Ashton smiles at him, like he knows what Michael’s thinking, and then turns back down to his plate.

Michael’s heart is hammering the entire time they clean up. The kitchen is not big enough for four grown men, especially with limbs as long as all of theirs, and everyone keeps bumping into each other or brushing up against someone else. It’s fine with Luke and Calum; they purposefully knock into Michael for a laugh, hip-check him into the counter so he can glare at them.

(He doesn’t miss the way they glance at each other and brush their fingers lightly across the others arm or hip.)

But when Ashton drags a warm hand across Michael’s back as he moves behind him, Michael’s nerves light up, shutting his brain down. And then Ashton has the  _ audacity  _ to shoot him a shy little grin like he didn’t just destroy Michael’s psyche with a mundane touch.

So, considering how breakfast went, Michael’s not sure how he expected to survive seeing Ashton at a waterpark, all shirtless and dripping water. 

They’ve only just gotten into the main pool and crossed the threshold where the water rests above their waists when Ashton dips under and then reemerges, water running down his torso like a swimsuit model or some other shit. Michael’s staring, he knows he is. His mouth is dry and his hands are genuinely shaking a little bit because they’re resisting the urge to reach out and touch Ashton’s muscles. 

Then his head is being pushed under water briefly, effectively snapping him out of his daze. Calum and Luke are cackling when he comes back up, and even Ashton is stifling a laugh. It’s cleared his head, so Michael’s not really that angry about it, but he still has to act the part. 

He treads his arm through the water, sending a powerful wave in his friend’s direction. Luke’s dumb mouth is still wide open in a laugh, creating the perfec target for the water to land in and start choking him. Calum laughs as he thumps Luke on the back until he stops coughing. And thus their fun begins. 

They spend what seems like hours jacking around in the pool like they’re still kids, splashing each other and racing, going down every single slide multiple times. Michael’s heart is jumping in his chest, the lightest it’s been in so long. 

He finally gets a moment of peace when Calum and Luke step in line for the rope bridge that seems nearly impossible to get across. Ashton opts to stay in the water with Michael and watch them fail from down below. Which Michael puts no further thought into. 

Maybe it’s not a moment of peace. 

“Didn’t wanna try that out?” Ashton asks. He gestures up to the rope bridge while Michael struggles to not stare  _ too  _ obviously. It’s not his fault that Ashton’s standing so close and being so pretty. 

“No,” Michael snorts, “I have some dignity. Plus, I don’t want to break all my bones when I hit the water.”

Ashton laughs loud and bright. It draws the attention of some people around them, children smiling along with him and teenage girls staring and batting their eyelashes. Michael does not glare at them because that would be very immature. But he’s definitely flipping them off under the water. 

“I don’t think it’s high enough for you to break your bones.”

“Well, why aren’t you up there? You love that kind of shit.”

Ashton turns to Michael to smile, and Michael knows that whatever he’s about to say next is going to stop his heart in the middle of his chest. “I’d rather be down here with you.”

The rest of the park is drowned out by the rushing in Michael’s ears. He can feel it flooding his cheeks and his heart is hammering at his chest. Only distantly can he hear the voices and laughter of children and the splashing water because  _ I’d rather be down here with you _ is ringing through his mind like a church bell. 

Ashton’s still smiling at him, while Michael just stares back, completely dumbfounded. In the back of his mind, underneath the ringing bells and thunderous heartbeats, a voice is screaming in joy. He’s not completely stupid; he knows what saying something like that means, especially coming from Ashton. Ashton, who has always given his heart to the people he trusts, who doesn’t say nice things like that for the hell of it. Every little thing he says matters if you’re really listening.

Michael’s an expert at listening.

But he’s not an expert at responding, and Ashton deserves something more than Michael’s gaping mouth and wide eyes. He’s really trying to come up with  _ something _ , anything to let Ashton know that Michael also wants to be wherever he is.

Luke’s hyena laugh cuts through their moment, and they look over just in time to see the bridge flip on its side and throw Calum off it. A few people standing off to the side get hit with the water from his splash; Luke only laughs harder. 

“Dumbasses,” Michael breathes. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says, but it’s grossly fond and the expression on his face is one of utmost care. 

Michael gets it. 

After they’ve had their fill and gone back to the cabin to shower, Calum, Luke, and Michael have decided that they’re in the mood for more ice cream. Ashton, however, has claimed he’s too tired and would rather stay in and rest for a bit, urging them to go on without him.

“Old man,” Calum grumbles.

“I heard that!” Ashton yells after them as they close the door. 

There’s a slight breeze accompanying the otherwise warm day; Michael watches the way the sunlight breaks through the different gaps in the tree branches with something akin to wonder, a little ways away from peace. As they walk, with Calum in the middle, their hands all bump together until Calum sighs and just grabs them. Michael laughs and knocks his shoulder against Calum’s, though he doesn’t let go. He can see Luke blush, eyes fixed on where Calums fingers intertwine with his own, and it makes him smile a little. 

The first few minutes from when they sit down to eat are silent. But, with Michael’s friends, it was never going to stay that way for long. 

“Why aren’t you and Ash together yet?” Calum asks around a mouthful of rocky road ice cream. 

Michael’s disgusted to call this heathen his best friend, honestly. “Why aren’t you and Luke together yet?”

Luke looks up from where he was completely captivated by his own ice cream at hearing his name, but he otherwise doesn’t seem too concerned with the actual substance of what Michael’s said. 

Calum shrugs, stealing some ice cream from Michael’s bowl and spooning it into his mouth. “We’re figuring it out.” Luke nods. Calum smiles at him when he’s not looking. 

“Oh,” Michael says. Looking between the two of them, he’s not actually that surprised. All the shy glances and fleeting touches are just building up to something more. Maybe that’s how it’s meant to be. Maybe that’s how it already is. “Well, Ash and I will figure it out. I guess.”

“You will,” Luke says, smiling. Calum smiles too, so then Michael smiles and they’re all smiling at each other and Michael feels a little ridiculous but mostly he just feels warm. 

There’s no sign of Ashton when they make their way back to the cabin. Not in the front room or the kitchen at least, though the tv is playing quietly, turned to one of those channels that only plays black and white movies that Michael knows Ashton likes for some reason.

“Ash?” Michael calls out. Calum and Luke look just as confused as he feels. 

“Back here,” is the muffled reply. 

Together, they make their way down the hall to the bedroom. Luke cautiously pushes open the door, and they’re met with Ashton standing in the middle of the room looking extremely proud of himself. Michael can see why. Blankets are draped over each bunk, reaching the floor, and hung on the blankets are signs.

Calum and Luke’s bunk has a sign that reads, “ _ Team Cake _ ,” complete with a cartoon drawing of both boys on either side of a slice of cake.

Michael and Ashton’s reads, “ _ Team Mashton _ ,” with a drawing of both boys standing on the moon. 

“So this is why you wanted to stay in?” Calum asks, looking between the bunks.

“What’s it for?” Luke asks.

Ashton laughs. There’s something playful, happy, in his eyes that sends Michael’s heart racing, pulls at his own muscles until he’s smiling as well. Ashton’s joy is infectious. And he knows that Calum and Luke can feel it as well; it’s practically filling the room.

“Gentleman,” Ashton announces, “Please take to your separate fortresses to see what weapons you’re working with and start devising a plan.”

Calum and Luke laugh as they make their way under the blankets and into the bottom bunk, almost knocking their sign down with how excited they are. When Michael turns to his own bunk, Ashton’s holding the curtain open and gesturing for him to get inside. Michael crawls and immediately hits his knee on one of the nerf guns strewn across the bed. 

Along with the nerf guns, there’s a pad of paper with  _ PLAN _ across the top in Ashton’s blocky writing and a pencil. Michael laughs and shakes his head a little, because it’s all just very Ashton and his chest is bursting with so much happiness and love. He hasn’t stopped smiling since he walked in the room. 

“Okay,” Ashton whispers, crawling in behind Michael and letting the blanket drop, surrounding them in darkness. There’s a camping lamp set up in the corner of the bed, throwing a purple hue across Ashton’s face. “Let’s start coming up with a plan. I want to win.”

“How is the winner determined?”

Ashton pauses. Michael snorts. Clearly having just come up with it, Ashton shouts so that Calum and Luke can hear as well, “Winner is whichever team can hold out the longest.”

“You’re on, bitches!” Calum shouts back. 

Michael laughs, and then picks up the pencil to start writing down a plan. Ashton follows suit. It’s incredibly dumb; their heads are bent close together while they come up with the most dramatic battle plan that expands far beyond their secluded little bunk bed. They’ve basically just come up with a narrative for why they’re at war. 

“Luke’s excitable,” Ashton’s saying, doodling a cartoon of Luke in the margins of their paper. “He’s probably going to waste a majority of their ammo in the first few minutes.”

Michael laughs, peering up at Ashton. It catches Ashton’s attention, and he looks up from the paper to smile at Michael. Vaguely, they can hear Calum and Luke whispering to each other and the scratching of their pencil. But Michael only cares about Ashton.

His smile fades a little as his eyes flick down to Ashton’s lips. Their faces are somehow closer than they were before; Michael can feel Ashton’s breath hit his own mouth slightly. When he looks back up to meet Ashton’s eyes, his eyes are dark and questioning, maybe a little hopeful. It sends Michael’s heart racing, thudding against his chest so hard it knocks the breath from him. 

Ashton leans closer, leaving enough room for Michael to make the final decision. He’s going to. He’s been waiting for this opportunity for months and it feels perfect, in the dark solitude of a bunk bed, the world outside on pause. Michael’s leaning in.

There’s a thump of a nerf bullet hitting the bedsheet in front of them, knocking it back and making Michael jump.

“Heard you talking shit!” Luke yells as another bullet hits closer to the edge of the sheet.

Ashton laughs and grabs up his own gun, peering around the side of the sheet and firing over to the opposite side of the room. Eventually, Michael’s brain catches up and he takes his gun and joins Ashton. From there, it’s a mess of nerf bullets and laughter. After, when they’re all lying on the floor in various states of disarray and pain from both laughter and stray bullets, nobody’s sure who won, but Michael thinks it might be all of them. 

Ashton drags them all out on a hike the next day. He laughs when they complain about how sore their feet are or how they’re definitely going to get eaten by bears. Michael wishes he could stay mad at him.

When they return to the cabin a few hours later, Ashton makes them lunch before their trolley tour. And, since it’s apparently been decided that it’s Ashton’s activity day, they set up a little bonfire behind the cabins that night, complete with hot dogs and smores and watching the stars. 

“To Calum,” he says, raising his water bottle in a toast, “For finding this destination and bringing us closer for the millionth time.”

“To Calum,” they chorus. 

The fire crackles in the middle of them, throwing orange shades across the lower half of their faces. Michael thinks they’re all breathtaking in such different ways. Calum is a fine mixture of sharp edges and softness so you never really know what you’ll get. He’s got dark eyes that hold so much life, so much pain, so much happiness; he’s one of the strongest men Michael knows. Luke is strong too, but in a way you might never guess. Michael loves it, loves how full of surprises Luke can be. Delicate features that hide so much from some and are so open around the three of them. 

And then there’s Ashton, and Michael could probably write poems and books and plays about Ashton. He wishes he could, but he doesn’t have the words. Ashton’s pretty and he’s rugged and he’s strong and he’s soft. His intense eyes have burned so many holes through Michael, his laugh has permanently thrown Michael’s heart from its rhythm.

Michael’s in love with him. Completely and irrevocably. 

They’re talking, soft voices carrying the wind. Michael’s just been staring at Ashton. What else is there worth doing?

“We’re all meant to be here,” Ashton says. Watching the moon, fiddling with his water. 

“Together?” Calum asks, “Or here, at this cabin specifically?”

Luke answers, “Both.”

They all nod, think. For some reason, the universe decided they would all end up together and impact each other in some way. Then the universe put them here, for some greater purpose or not. Michael thinks so. Looking around, he sees so much uncovered love waiting to be built on, and they’re the only ones with access to it. It’s a special love, as their love has always been. A love Michael never knew could exist.

“You’ve all shaped me so much,” He says. His voice is stronger than he thought it would be, but it’s no surprise considering he’s in the presence of so many versions of himself. “You’re all such different parts of me, and I wouldn’t be who I am without you all. I’d fall apart without even one of you.”

“Same,” Luke says.

“Profound,” Calum replies. Luke shoves him out of his chair.

A hand lands over Michael’s. It’s Ashton’s, because of course it is. Warm and strong and translating so much love. Michael looks over to find Ashton smiling at him. He’s found Ashton smiling at him so much; he needs to keep finding Ashton smiling at him for the rest of his life. Finding Ashton over and over is the greatest discovery of his life. 

“Walk with me?” Ashton asks, standing and holding his hand out to Michael.

Michael takes it and follows, leaving Luke and Calum bickering behind them. They walk out the edge of the clearing where the trees form a wall in front of them that looks impossible to pass through. Branches cross and form untouchable webs. Ashton’s hand in Michael’s is warm, bordering on sweating. 

“You’re part of my heart,” Ashton says. He’s already looking at Michael.

Michael breathes in. Not nervous or surprised. Under the stars, with only the trees listening, Michael already knows more than he’s ever known anything else. “You’re part of mine.”

“I wanted to kiss you yesterday. I’ve been wanting to kiss you so much. I love those guys so much, but it’s different with you. You quiet me when I need it and you’re a hurricane sweeping through me when I need that. I want to keep these storms and these moments of peace for as long as I can.”

Through a watery laugh, Michael says, “That’s the most pretentious fucking thing you’ve ever said.”

Ashton laughs too, but he doesn’t take it back or try to justify it. Michael wouldn’t want him to.

“I have more fun with you than with anyone else,” Michael says. Only because he’s not ready to admit that he loves Ashton’s heart and wants to discover all the inner workings of his mind. This feels easy, and it’s true. Ashton’s fun, and at the end of the day, Michael wants fun.

Ashton smiles, like he knows. “Calum would be so upset if he heard you say that.”

“Well, it’s a good thing he didn’t hear me, isn’t it?”

Ashton laughs again and his grip on Michael’s hand tightens. And Michael’s going to do it. He has to.

He leans in and kisses Ashton. And Ashton kisses his back. And Calum and Luke cheer from behind them and there’s fireworks and peace and rushing streams in Michael’s veins. He pulls back and the stars are reflecting in Ashton’s eyes; Michael feels the stars exploding in his chest.

Everything leading up to this moment explodes in the stars. 

**Author's Note:**

> alright alright alright thank you for reading, comments and kudos always appreciated, find me at [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/escapesos) if u feel so inclined <3
> 
> title taken from "you and me" by lifehouse


End file.
